Roast my Startup
Time for a reality check. Let our AI tear apart your startup idea before your savings account does. Because sometimes, tough love is better than venture capital.
Delusional Ideas
No, you're not the 'Uber for pet rocks'
Business Model
'We'll figure it out later' isn't a strategy
Market Fit
Your mom doesn't count as market validation
Growth Fantasy
Those projections are more fiction than Marvel
Team Issues
Three CEOs and no developers? Good luck
Valuation Dreams
You're not worth $1B pre-revenue
Brutal Startup Analysis
Because someone needs to tell you the truth before your savings account hits zero
Market Validation
Find out if your 'revolutionary idea' is actually solving a problem anyone cares about.
Business Model Teardown
'We'll figure out monetization later' isn't going to cut it. Get your revenue strategy roasted.
AI Due Diligence
Our AI plays venture capitalist and tears apart your startup's fundamentals.
Risk Assessment
Identify potential failure points before they identify you. Better to cry now than later.
Pitch Deck Analysis
Your deck isn't as impressive as you think. Let's fix those 'hockey stick' projections.
Team Evaluation
Three co-founders but no developers? We'll tell you why that's a problem.
How The Dream Crushing Works
Four simple steps to transform your startup from fantasy to reality (or bankruptcy, whichever comes first)
Upload Your Pitch
Submit your pitch deck, business plan, and financial projections. Yes, we want to see those 'realistic' hockey stick growth charts.
AI Analysis Begins
Our AI dives deep into your startup's fundamentals, market potential, and that 'unique' value proposition (spoiler: it's probably not unique).
Market Validation
We compare your startup against market data, competitor analysis, and reality. Prepare for a reality check you didn't ask for.
Financial Reality
Get a brutal breakdown of your financial projections, valuation expectations, and funding strategy. Time to face the numbers.
Reality Check Examples
See how we transform startup fantasy into fundable reality
Our revolutionary AI-powered blockchain solution for pet food delivery will disrupt the $100B industry. We project 1000% growth in Year 1.
Generic buzzwords, unrealistic projections, and no clear value proposition. The only thing getting disrupted is your bank account.
PawFresh: Next-day pet food delivery with AI-driven inventory prediction. Serving 1,000+ customers with 85% retention rate. Targeting $2M ARR by 2024.
Clear value prop, real metrics, and reasonable growth targets. Now you're speaking investor language.
Dream Crushing Metrics
Real-time stats of startup dreams vs reality checks
Live Roasting Feed
Hall of Pain
Where dreams get crushed and startups get better
HealthTech AI
Seed round increased from $500K to $2.5M
EcoCharge
Pilot program expanded from 2 to 15 cities
CryptoFlow
Monthly active users from 10K to 35K
Choose Your Pain
Select your startup category and let us crush your dreams with industry-specific expertise
SaaS & Tech
From B2B to B2C software
Common Startup Killers:
- Generic value proposition
- Overcrowded market
- Weak monetization strategy
E-commerce
DTC and marketplace ventures
Common Startup Killers:
- High CAC, low LTV
- Poor market differentiation
- Inventory management issues
FinTech
Financial innovation ventures
Common Startup Killers:
- Regulatory compliance gaps
- Security vulnerabilities
- Complex user experience
AI & ML
AI-powered solutions
Common Startup Killers:
- Data quality issues
- Unclear AI advantage
- Scalability concerns
Healthcare
Health tech innovations
Common Startup Killers:
- HIPAA compliance issues
- Long sales cycles
- Clinical validation gaps
CleanTech
Sustainable solutions
Common Startup Killers:
- High capital requirements
- Regulatory hurdles
- Adoption barriers
Frequently Crushed Dreams
Common questions about our startup dream-crushing service
Still have questions? Contact our support team. They're surprisingly nicer than our AI.